


All These Things That I've Done

by Green_Eyed_Dream



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 08:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15945203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_Eyed_Dream/pseuds/Green_Eyed_Dream





	All These Things That I've Done

She lie awake in bed, the hour was an indecent one. Ron snoring steadily next to her. She couldn’t stand it. Not really. It had been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts. Five years spent burying her guilt, hiding behind her smiles, pretending to move forward. But she couldn’t, not really.  
Hermione went downstairs to kitchen. She had a nightly habit, a ritual of sorts. They would put Nysa to bed, she would wait for Ron to fall asleep after attempting to make love to her. Then, she would curl up with a bottle of firewhiskey and book trying to forget. Forget Her, forget the war, forget the blood on her hands.  
“Mummy” A soft voice called from the hall. Breaking Hermione out her reverie .  
“Nysa? Honey, what are you doing up?” Tiny feet padded across the floor and Nysa hopped up onto her lap.  
“I had the bad dream again mummy.” Hermione hugged her tightly “there are all these bad men chasing me. I can't find her, the girl I’m looking for. I need to find her but I can’t. So I have to hide.” Hermione’s skin prickled at the description of the nightmare. It was a foolish response, just a dream, she pushed the thought away.  
“Shhh sweetie. You’re safe with me. It was just a dream.” Black curls and deep dark eyes, her eyes, stared up into Hermione’s.  
“I know” she sighed. The sound was so cute Hermione thought her heart would melt.  
“Do you want me to read to you, I just started a new chapter in Hogwarts a History” Nysa’s eyes lit up “Yes please!”  
“Okay” Hermione smiled. “Chapter 394: Magical Education and Foreign Relations During the reign of Lord Napoleon….” Nysa was her ray of light. The one good thing that had come out of all the darkness . They stayed like that until the the sky outside changed to a hazy purple, dawn fast approaching.  
“Hurry up Ron, you are going to be late” Hermione called from the bedroom. “Nysa’s piano lesson starts at 8:30”. Ron grumbled his acknowledgement from the kitchen . She smiled to herself. Despite their differences, mainly Hermione’s indifference, he was a lovely parent. Nysa had him wrapped around her little finger...and she knew how to use it too.  
“Daddy can we go see uncle George soon!? He promised to let me ride on his broomstick again.” She inquired enthusiastically. And though Ron lowered his voice Hermione could still hear him.  
“Shhh, we can’t mention the boom to Mummy remember? She won’t like it very much.  
“No she wouldn't like it very much” Hermione interjected from the other room. Nysa giggled and Ron kissed her on the forehead  
“Looks like the jig is up. Let’s go before Mum gets mad at us.” He stuck his head in their room “Goodbye Mione, See you tonight?.”  
“Ehm Yes, late though. I've got a lot on my plate today.” He gave her a weak smile and left with Nysa. Hermione heard the door close. She left out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She wanted normal, but 5 years of “fake it till you make it” takes it’s tole on a person. She remembered the day she told Ron she was pregnant. They weren't dating, they hadn’t even shared more than a chaste kiss outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom when the castle was falling apart . Ron had been staying with George above the joke shop. He was having a hard time with the loss of his twin and needed an extra hand in the store. Having Ron there filled the empty space that still echoed with Fred’s laughter.  
Hermione apparated into their flat, she was a mess. Shaking with tear streaks staining her cheeks. She asked George if she could have a world with Ron in private. He, of course, obliged. No one had seen Hermione for months. She left a note for them at the Burrow saying that she needed space and time to cope with loss.  
She sat on there sofa, clutching the mug of hot tea offered to her.  
“Hermione, where have you been?” Said Ron concernedly. When you told Harry and I that you needed space we didn't think you ment 7 months.” He glanced down at her swollen stomach. “Er, Hermione” He said, taking her hand, “is there something you want to tell me?” Hermione was at a loss for words. She didn’t know where to begin. She knew she couldn't tell him who the other parent was….he sensed her hesitation.  
“Come here Mione” he padded to the seat next to him and held out his arms. She sat down and laid her head on his chest. The tears that threatened to spill for months could be held back no longer. And he held her until she was still. She didn’t love him,not in the way he wished she would. But Ron wanted a family and he wanted one with her. He never asked her who the “father” was. If that was out of self preservation, or compassion for her he didn’t know. As for Hermione, she needed someone to help put her back together. And after Nysa was born, someone to help take care of her. Ron filled that role all too well.  
She shook her head to clear it and looked over her appearance in the mirror. Aging seemed to suit Hermione. It gave her waif like frame and edge to it. Her cheekbones more pronounced, hair now tamed to a gentle curl, she was beautiful, that was sure. Hermione preferred to wear muggle dress clothes to work. She donned an androgynous yet impeccably tailored suit. It served a purpose greater than asceticism. As the youngest department head in two centuries and a muggle born, Hermione was fighting an upstream battle everyday. Rather than downplay her differences she exuded them.  
Being member of the Golden Trio had its perks. After the war she was recruited to the Department of International Relations almost immediately, as the ministry begin for put itself back together. It was a position she happy accepted finding it to be both challenging and rewarding.  
Hermione left their London flat, greeted by an overcast sky and slight rain. After casting an impervious charm she headed to her favorite cafe. It was a tiny place tucked out of the way on Charing Cross road. They served the best coffee in London and as a slave to insomnia, caffeine was a vice Hermione happily indulged in. A young barista with thick glasses and a slow smile looked up when Hermione came through the tinkling door. “Ello love, usual today?”  
“Yes, please….ehm actually can you add an extra shot today? I have a feeling I will need it”  
“Aw rough night?”  
“ Something like that, yes” The barista gave her a sympathetic smile and handed Hermione her order. Taking a grateful sip she thanked the girl and walked into the back alley across the street. She turned into nothingness feeling the familiar compression of apparition hug her body before appearing in her office on the first floor on the ministry.  
Hermione set her coffee down on her desk and began to tackle the mound of paperwork that had been waiting for her since the night before. The new president of MACUSA was an absolutely appalling man. More concerned with his image and ego than actually leading the American witches and wizards. He was set to travel to England next week to meet with Kingsley, who was elected to prime minister after the war, and . Hermione was in charge of arranging the details of his visit.  
Around lunch time Hermione heard a knock on her door. “Come in” she called, looking up from her paperwork. Familiar green eyes and untidy black hair stepped through the doorway. Eyes that Hermione still couldn't really look into. Not without the familiar bubble of guilt rising in her stomach .  
Every department clamored to add The Boy who Lived to their ranks during the reconstruction. He accepted a position with the Aurors, helping round up the remaining Death Eaters. It was a good fit, having spent his life as a marked man the job came naturally to him. He was now Deputy to the Department Head of Magical Law Enforcement  
“Hello Hermione” said Harry looking her up and down “No offense but you look terrible. Ron's snoring keeping you up again” He joked.  
“Yes, he's the absolute worst. I may curse off his nose at some point” she chuckled.  
Harry sat down in the chair opposite Hermione.  
Looking at a photo of Nysa on her desk he said“And how is my favorite niece doing?” Hermione’s face softened “Nyssa's wonderful, at piano lessons right now. She’s quite talented.”  
“Well I'm glad she is more you than Ron to be honest” Harry said. Hermione gave him a tight lipped smiled  
“Aren’t we all.” They didn’t know, none of them did. Ron had given her an out. Hermione had woken up on George’s couch the morning after she came back to London to Ron and fresh cup of coffee.  
“Hey Mione, how are you feeling?” He said handing her the cup.  
“Ehm, I...I don’t know Ron. I can’t really explain” She felt empty, she felt guilty, and she missed Her with every breath she possessed. But saying that. Putting her heart into words would have made it all too real.  
Ron placed his hand on Hermione's arm.  
“Look, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You don't have to tell me who the father is. But for someone with ‘the emotional range of a teaspoon’ I can see that you are struggling. And I want you to know that I will help anyway I can.” She chuckled quietly, at memory of happier times when she did indeed tell Ron he had the emotional capacity of cutlery. She thought it impossible to have more tears to cry after the night before. But the sincerity of Ron’s words had them threatening to spill again. She felt like she had been underwater since the final battle. Since the night she lost her. The only one she had ever.... And here was Ron, throwing her a lifeline. His kindness had a warmth that started to thaw the cold that had taken ahold of her.  
“I’m having a girl. Her name is Nysa.”  
She had been with them for a little over a week. Hermione hadn’t left the flat, she begged them not to tell anyone that she was back. The brightest witch of her age, didn’t have a plane and wasn't ready to explain. That is when Ron had made his offer. They were half way through a dinner that George had made. It was superb, he had recently taken up the hobby. He found that keeping his hands busy, his mind distracted, eased the loss of this twin. Ron Cleared his throat.  
“Hermione, I’ve been thinking. And I dunno how you’ll feel about this. But I think you need to leave the apartment and see people. I know Harry, and our family is worried sick about you.”  
“Ron….”  
“Wait, Hermione just hear me out. ...Tell them it’s mine.”

“Whoa, Hermione, lost you there for a second.” Harry said. Bringing her back to the present.  
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind. The President of MACUSA is coming soon and he keeps demanding more terms to his visit.”  
“Ah yes, President Prtum. I don't know what the Americans were thinking. He should get together with Umbridge, what a power couple they would make” Hermione laughed. Though last she had heard their old professor was still serving her sentence. She had stood trial for her crimes committed during the war and her complicity to Lord Voldemort's regime. She was found guilty by the Wizengamot of the torture and imprisonment of half breeds and muggleborns.


End file.
